Three months and counting

We are getting to the stage where EL is learning to interact with us more.

She smiles on her own a lot more and lets out lots of weird and happy noises when she is content. Occasionally if she is really happy, she will laugh; she smiles widely and a really happy sound comes out of her.

Wifey and me can't want till she actually gets to talk. I mean how cool is that?

At the same time however, as EL grows, she is also developing feelings, likes and dislikes.

She likes being held but only in certain positions. Put her in a sling when she is not ready to sleep and she will go off like an alarm bell. Her face scrunches up and her arms and legs start moving. Really. Forcefully.

She also has started to love bath times. Initially she hated being bathed. But now, when its 'pong pong' time, she lies on the changing table in quiet anticipation as her clothes get taken off. Once she is in the warm soapy water, she starts to grin and will happily splash a water around.

We are just crazy about her at the moment. Hard to imagine that EL did not even exist 4 months ago; yet here she is, making such a difference to our lives and bringing such joy to all of us.

But our working hours have started to take a toll on our relationship with our girl. For me, particularly. I work long and irregular hours. Sometimes I get to play with her in the morning and bond with her, which is great. But I am finding it difficult to soothe her when she is unhappy or cranky.

She is fine when she is in a good mood. But when she starts to get restless or sleepy, she doesn't seem to want to be held by me. Instead, she will start wriggling and making protesting noises when I hold her or put her into the sling. Occasionally, she will accept being put into the sling by me. But more often than not, she rather my mum, her Mama, to carry her.

When my mum carries her, she automatically becomes quiet. She doesn't protest when she is fit into the sling. She sleeps soon after my mum carries her around.

My mum is good with babies. She does all kinds of things which my wife and I are incapable of. She sings songs, talks and babbles with her easily. It is a blessing to have her around, instead of some unknown nanny who probably couldn't care less for the charge under her.

But it's hard as a father to see that my own baby prefers someone else rather than me. People I speak to say it's natural; babies just trust the person they see and interact most. And I am just not around enough.

I suppose this is just the start. As she grows older, the initial yearning for Mama will still be there but at the same time, she will also learn to love us as parents. But it will get more challenging for me. Will I be around for her when she speaks her first word, stands up, take her first step? Will she be able to call out to me when she reads her first book, learns to sing and walk into kindergarten?

I guess I can answer these questions myself. How good I am of a father depends on me and how important I place my family over my career.